56. Music for the pity party

“There’s been a few times when I’ve wondered if I’m just showing myself up to be a dill by all the self-criticism I put myself through sometimes. When I look around I’m not always convinced that other people have made such a fuss over things, or even bothered to think about situations at all. And what difference does it make anyway? It doesn’t seem like there are very many people who are worse or better off than me — I mean everyone’s pretty much on par aren’t they, although I suppose it’s hard to tell.

“The trouble is, I feel stuck with this. It’s a bit hard to turn off.”

The pity party continued for a while and was as annoying this time as every other time Benny fell to wallowing in it. And I knew he was wrong about there being little difference made. What we’ve uncovered are insights, and what’s wrong with that? And what he did get right this time, about not being able to turn it off, is a benefit he should be better acquainted with. In other words Benny boy, toughen up and get used to it.

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